When I first became a team lead, I thought ātough decisionsā were rareāsomething you made in a crisis. Big stuff, like letting someone go or killing a project. What I didnāt realize is that making hard calls is a daily part of leadershipāand usually, no one claps when you do it.
No roadmap tells you when to delay a launch to avoid burnout, or when to back a teammate whose opinion clashes with the stakeholders. And the toughest ones? Theyāre the decisions where both choices suck, just in different ways.
Hereās what Iāve learned navigating those calls:
1. Clarity Beats Consensus
As a dev, I used to aim for alignment. But as a leader, Iāve had to let go of consensus as the goal. Sometimes, not everyone will agree. And thatās okay.
What your team really needs is clarityāa clear direction and the rationale behind it.
Iāve found that saying, āThis is a tough one, but hereās why Iām choosing this path,ā builds more trust than pretending everyone is on the same page when theyāre not.
2. Short-Term Pain vs Long-Term Gain
Most hard decisions pit short-term discomfort against long-term outcomes. Think: choosing to push back on a client request and risk friction now⦠versus setting a sustainable precedent for your team.
I try to pause and ask: āWhich version of this will I be glad I picked three months from now?ā
It doesnāt make the decision easier, but it usually makes it clearer.
3. Emotional Toll Is Real
No one talks enough about the emotional weight of leadership. Youāll second-guess yourself. Youāll worry about how others perceive your choices. Youāll carry things your team never sees.
Thatās part of the jobābut it doesnāt mean you go it alone. Iāve leaned on mentors, peers, and even a journal to process what I canāt always say out loud.
Make space for reflection. Itās not a luxury. Itās a survival tool.
4. Itās Still Your Job to Decide
You can gather input, empathize, weigh tradeoffsābut at the end of the day, someone has to make the call.
And that someone is you.
When I avoid tough decisions, my team feels it. Progress stalls. People get confused. Doubts creep in. Even silence becomes a kind of signalāone that says, āI donāt know what weāre doing.ā
Leading means deciding, even when the answer sucks.
5. The Hardest Calls Are About People
Deadlines and features are one thing. But itās the people callsāthe ones where you balance empathy with performanceāthat really test your values.
Letting go of someone who isnāt thriving on the team. Calling out behavior that doesnāt align with your culture. Holding space for someone whoās struggling personally while still managing delivery.
These decisions define your leadership, not just your teamās outcomes.
No One Applauds the Hard DecisionsāUntil Much Later
Most of the tough calls Iāve made werenāt popular in the moment. Some were questioned. Some were misunderstood. But months later? Thatās when people say, āIām glad you did that.ā Sometimes they never say it out loudābut you feel it in the teamās stability, growth, or regained trust.
So if youāre in a season of hard decisions, take heart.
Leadership isnāt about always knowing the right answer. Itās about carrying the weight of uncertainty, choosing with intention, and standing by your team as you navigate it together.