Code, Leadership & the Remote Dev Life

Tag: Team Management

  • The Leadership Skill No One Talks About: Patience

    The Leadership Skill No One Talks About: Patience

    We love to talk about decisiveness. About boldness, charisma, vision. We glamorize “move fast and break things” leadership like it’s the only kind that works.

    But there’s one leadership skill that rarely gets any spotlight—patience.

    It’s not sexy. It doesn’t make great TED Talk soundbites. But in my experience, patience is one of the most underrated, overused, and completely necessary tools in a leader’s arsenal.

    Let’s unpack that.

    1. Patience is Not Inaction

    First, let’s kill the myth that patience means doing nothing.

    Patience is deciding to do nothing right now—because the timing isn’t right, the information is incomplete, or the person in front of you needs room to grow. It’s restraint with intention.

    Sometimes that’s the hardest kind of action.

    2. People Don’t Grow on Command

    You can give someone the clearest task and the best tools—and they’ll still fumble.

    The instinct? Step in. Fix it. Move on.

    But if you do that every time, you’re not leading. You’re just babysitting.

    Patience is what turns mistakes into lessons. It’s giving space for growth, not just efficiency. Leadership isn’t about showing how capable you are—it’s about building capability in others.

    3. Waiting Can Be a Power Move

    There are times when I’ve held off on making a decision—sometimes for days, weeks, or longer—because I sensed the team wasn’t ready yet. Or because the situation still had room to shift.

    And it usually did.

    Patience lets you observe the undercurrents. The politics, the stress signals, the emerging patterns. Sometimes by simply waiting, you see truths that would’ve stayed hidden if you acted too fast.

    4. Patience Builds Trust

    Nobody likes a knee-jerk boss.

    If your team knows you won’t overreact at the first sign of trouble, they’ll bring issues to you earlier. If they see you take time to understand before acting, they’ll feel heard—and that earns you loyalty.

    In a world obsessed with urgency, patience is a signal: “I’m steady. I’m not going to flinch. I’ve got your back.”

    That kind of leadership is rare—and incredibly powerful.

    5. It’s Hard, and That’s Why It Matters

    Patience doesn’t come naturally to most of us. It definitely didn’t for me. I had to unlearn the instinct to fix, jump in, rush. I had to sit with discomfort, uncertainty, silence.

    But every time I managed to hold space instead of fill it, I noticed something: things unfolded better. Smarter decisions. More capable teams. Less emotional whiplash.

    So no, it’s not glamorous. But it works.

    Final Thoughts

    If you’re leading a team, you’re not just making decisions. You’re shaping growth, culture, and character—starting with your own.

    And that takes patience.

    Not the passive kind. The active, gritty, intentional kind. The kind that says, “I trust you. I’m here. I’m not in a rush to prove anything.”

    The kind that makes space for real leadership.

  • Making Tough Calls: A Leader’s Daily Reality

    Making Tough Calls: A Leader’s Daily Reality

    When I first became a team lead, I thought “tough decisions” were rare—something you made in a crisis. Big stuff, like letting someone go or killing a project. What I didn’t realize is that making hard calls is a daily part of leadership—and usually, no one claps when you do it.

    No roadmap tells you when to delay a launch to avoid burnout, or when to back a teammate whose opinion clashes with the stakeholders. And the toughest ones? They’re the decisions where both choices suck, just in different ways.

    Here’s what I’ve learned navigating those calls:

    1. Clarity Beats Consensus

    As a dev, I used to aim for alignment. But as a leader, I’ve had to let go of consensus as the goal. Sometimes, not everyone will agree. And that’s okay.

    What your team really needs is clarity—a clear direction and the rationale behind it.

    I’ve found that saying, “This is a tough one, but here’s why I’m choosing this path,” builds more trust than pretending everyone is on the same page when they’re not.

    2. Short-Term Pain vs Long-Term Gain

    Most hard decisions pit short-term discomfort against long-term outcomes. Think: choosing to push back on a client request and risk friction now… versus setting a sustainable precedent for your team.

    I try to pause and ask: “Which version of this will I be glad I picked three months from now?”

    It doesn’t make the decision easier, but it usually makes it clearer.

    3. Emotional Toll Is Real

    No one talks enough about the emotional weight of leadership. You’ll second-guess yourself. You’ll worry about how others perceive your choices. You’ll carry things your team never sees.

    That’s part of the job—but it doesn’t mean you go it alone. I’ve leaned on mentors, peers, and even a journal to process what I can’t always say out loud.

    Make space for reflection. It’s not a luxury. It’s a survival tool.

    4. It’s Still Your Job to Decide

    You can gather input, empathize, weigh tradeoffs—but at the end of the day, someone has to make the call.

    And that someone is you.

    When I avoid tough decisions, my team feels it. Progress stalls. People get confused. Doubts creep in. Even silence becomes a kind of signal—one that says, “I don’t know what we’re doing.”

    Leading means deciding, even when the answer sucks.

    5. The Hardest Calls Are About People

    Deadlines and features are one thing. But it’s the people calls—the ones where you balance empathy with performance—that really test your values.

    Letting go of someone who isn’t thriving on the team. Calling out behavior that doesn’t align with your culture. Holding space for someone who’s struggling personally while still managing delivery.

    These decisions define your leadership, not just your team’s outcomes.

    No One Applauds the Hard Decisions—Until Much Later

    Most of the tough calls I’ve made weren’t popular in the moment. Some were questioned. Some were misunderstood. But months later? That’s when people say, “I’m glad you did that.” Sometimes they never say it out loud—but you feel it in the team’s stability, growth, or regained trust.

    So if you’re in a season of hard decisions, take heart.

    Leadership isn’t about always knowing the right answer. It’s about carrying the weight of uncertainty, choosing with intention, and standing by your team as you navigate it together.

  • Supporting Team Growth Without Micromanaging

    Supporting Team Growth Without Micromanaging

    I used to think being a good leader meant staying on top of everything—checking in constantly, reviewing every detail, giving feedback the moment something was off. You know, just making sure things don’t fall apart.

    But over time, I realized something: the more I tried to stay in control, the less control I actually had. My team became hesitant, overly dependent, and slower to move. And honestly? I was tired.

    Eventually, I had to learn how to support my team’s growth without breathing down their necks. If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting things done right and wanting your team to grow—this one’s for you.

    1. Set Expectations, Then Step Back

    Micromanaging usually starts from a good place. You care about the work. You want to hit deadlines. You want the team to do their best.

    But here’s the trap: when you start giving too many instructions, people stop thinking for themselves. They become task-takers instead of problem-solvers.

    These days, I try to focus on outcomes instead of step-by-step instructions. I’ll say something like, “This is what we’re aiming for. Let me know if you hit any blockers,” and then I give them space to figure it out.

    The magic happens when people take ownership of their approach. They start coming up with better ideas than I would have thought of anyway.

    2. Be a Coach, Not a Cop

    I used to treat 1:1s like mini status reports. “What’s done? What’s next? Why isn’t this finished?”

    Now I see those check-ins differently—they’re a chance to coach, not command.

    Instead of asking for updates, I ask questions like:

    • “What’s working for you right now?”
    • “What’s been tricky?”
    • “Anything you’re stuck on that I can help with?”

    This shifts the energy completely. People open up, share real challenges, and I can support them without taking over.

    The goal isn’t to catch mistakes. It’s to build confidence so they can handle bigger challenges over time.

    3. Write Stuff Down So You Can Let Go

    One reason I used to micromanage was because I was the only one who knew how certain things worked. Every process lived in my head, which meant people had to come to me for everything.

    Bad system.

    Now I try to document as much as I can. If we have a repeatable process, it goes in a shared doc. If there’s a weird edge case, I note it somewhere searchable. The goal is to make myself less essential, not more.

    The bonus? Once I started handing over more responsibility with clear documentation, I noticed people started improving the process on their own. They weren’t just following instructions—they were making things better.

    4. Give Feedback That Actually Helps

    There was a time when I gave a lot of feedback—most of it unsolicited and focused on what was wrong.

    I’ve learned that if you want someone to grow, feedback has to build them up, not break them down. Now, I follow a pretty simple pattern:

    1. Highlight something they did well.
    2. Explain why it matters.
    3. Offer one area to improve.
    4. Encourage the next step.

    For example, instead of saying, “This design feels off,” I’ll say, “I really like how clean this layout is—it’s a big step up. If anything, I’d push the typography a bit more to match the boldness of the concept. You’ve definitely got a strong eye for detail.”

    It takes a few extra seconds, but the impact lasts way longer.

    5. Trust First, Don’t Wait to “Earn It”

    This one was hard for me. I used to think people had to earn my trust before I gave them real responsibility.

    Now I flip that. I trust them first. I let them lead, take ownership, and even mess up a little. It’s scary sometimes—but it pays off.

    When you start from a place of trust, people tend to rise to it. They take the work more seriously. They double-check things. They come back with ideas and solutions because they know they’re not just executors—they’re owners.

    If someone drops the ball, I treat it like a learning moment. We talk about what happened, why, and what we’ll do differently next time. That’s how people grow.

    Bonus: Busy ≠ Productive

    Let’s be real—watching your team’s every move might feel productive, but it’s not. I used to obsess over who was online, how long tasks were taking, or how often someone was pushing code. None of that tells you if the work is actually moving forward.

    Now, I care more about results. Are we shipping value? Are clients happy? Is the team learning and improving?

    You don’t need to watch every move if you’ve built a system where people are trusted, supported, and clear on what matters.

    Final Thoughts

    Micromanagement feels safe in the short term, but it’s a long-term trap. Your team gets stuck. You burn out. Nobody wins.

    But when you shift your mindset—when you set clear goals, coach instead of control, document and delegate, and give real trust—you build a team that doesn’t need constant oversight. You build a team that thrives.

    And you? You get to focus on bigger-picture thinking, creative work, or just taking a break without worrying the whole thing will fall apart.

    It took me a while to get here, but I’m glad I did. If you’re in the same boat, trying to loosen the grip without losing your edge—know that it’s possible.

    Your team doesn’t need a micromanager. They need a leader who believes in their growth.

  • Keeping Morale High During Crunch Time

    Keeping Morale High During Crunch Time

    Crunch time. Two words that make most developers groan and most managers sweat.

    No matter how well you plan, estimate, or try to keep the team agile and lean, there’s always that moment when a deadline barrels toward you like a freight train, and suddenly it’s all hands on deck. It’s stressful. It’s exhausting. But most of all—it’s dangerous for morale.

    I’ve been through enough crunches in my career to know that how we manage those moments can make or break a team—not just in terms of productivity, but in terms of long-term trust and culture. So today I want to talk about what’s worked for me when the pressure’s on, and how I try to keep morale from falling apart during those intense sprints.

    Acknowledge the Reality Without Sugarcoating

    When the pressure starts building, the worst thing you can do is pretend everything is fine.

    I don’t like management-speak like “we’re almost there” or “let’s push through just a bit more” when I know the team is looking at 12-hour days for the next two weeks. It feels dishonest, and worse, it makes people feel like their suffering isn’t seen.

    Instead, I try to be real. I’ll say things like:

    “I know this next stretch is going to be brutal. We didn’t plan for this scope creep, but we’re in it now, and I appreciate each one of you stepping up.”

    That kind of transparency sets the tone. It says, “Yes, this is hard. And yes, I see it. I’m here with you.”

    And sometimes, that’s all people need—to be seen and understood.

    Communicate More, Not Less

    During crunch time, communication needs to increase, but not in a micro-managey way.

    I set a rhythm. Quick daily check-ins (async if possible), a short wrap-up every couple of days, and clear updates on priorities. I avoid random pings like “how’s it going?” and instead ask, “Do you need anything to unblock X?” or “Is there something we can cut or shift?”

    The idea is to reduce ambiguity and avoid the “black box” feeling—where team members don’t know what others are doing or what’s expected next.

    When everyone knows what they’re responsible for and what’s on the horizon, they feel more in control, and that’s a big morale boost when the days are long.

    Protect the Team’s Focus

    Meetings during crunch time? No thanks.

    Unless it’s absolutely critical, I cancel or reschedule. The goal is to give everyone long stretches of uninterrupted time to just do the work. If I can act as a buffer—shielding the team from stakeholders, random scope changes, or impromptu calls—I’ll do it gladly.

    Even better, I’ll communicate that I’m doing it:

    “Hey, the client wanted to check in again this week, but I told them we’re heads down and will give them a proper update Friday. Just keep building—we’ve got your back.”

    That kind of message is gold. It tells the team that their time is valued and their focus is protected.

    Celebrate the Small Wins

    One of the fastest ways to kill morale is to make the mountain feel insurmountable.

    I like to break the work down into visible chunks and celebrate the progress. Finished the frontend login refactor? High five. Got the backend cache working smoothly? Take a screenshot and share it in Slack with a 🎉 emoji.

    You’d be surprised how energizing it is to feel like you’re actually making progress—especially when it feels like you’re sprinting on a treadmill.

    Perhaps even throw in micro-incentives:

    • Friday shout-outs in the team channel
    • “Bug squashers of the week” leaderboard (totally optional, no pressure)
    • Or even a simple, great job this week sent as a private message

    It’s not about turning it into a competition—it’s about injecting a little fun into the grind.

    Recognize Human Limits

    Here’s something I learned the hard way: people can’t sprint forever.

    Even if your team is made of high performers, even if everyone is “motivated,” and even if no one complains—burnout doesn’t knock. It creeps.

    So I try to monitor for signs. If someone’s commits are getting erratic, or they’ve stopped responding like they used to, I’ll check in. Not as a manager, but as a fellow human:

    “Hey, I noticed you’ve been pushing late into the night a few days in a row. Everything okay? Want to take half a day off this week to reset?”

    More often than not, the answer is yes. And they come back better the next day.

    Crunch time isn’t just a technical challenge—it’s a mental one. If we pretend our teams are machines, we’re going to break them.

    Don’t Forget to Laugh

    This sounds minor, but it isn’t.

    Laughter might be the only thing keeping some teams sane during a hard push. I’ve seen devs running on zero sleep still light up when someone drops a dumb meme in the group chat or makes a terrible pun in the commit messages.

    You don’t need to force it, but leave space for fun. Be okay with goofiness. Share silly gifs. Celebrate inside jokes. In those moments, the stress fades—just for a second—but it makes a difference.

    After the Crunch: Recovery Matters

    Here’s where a lot of managers drop the ball: after the deadline, they just move on.

    Big mistake.

    After a sprint like that, people need time to decompress. Give them a real breather. Cancel non-essential meetings for a week. Let folks start a little later. Say, “Nothing urgent this week—take care of yourself.”

    And thank them—publicly and privately. Acknowledge not just the results, but the effort. Say their names. Share the wins. Let people feel it.

    That recovery phase isn’t just good for morale—it’s the bridge between “We survived” and “We’d do this again with you if we had to.”

    Final Thoughts

    Crunch time isn’t ideal. No one should plan for it. But it happens. Projects run late. Clients ask for too much. Features need rework. Life throws curveballs.

    When it does, our job as leaders isn’t just to hit the deadline. It’s to get there without breaking our team’s spirit.

    That means leading with empathy, protecting focus, injecting fun, and celebrating every little win along the way. And when it’s all over, letting people breathe.

    Morale isn’t magic. It’s a choice—built through small actions, every day, especially when it’s hardest.

    Here’s to surviving the crunch—and coming out stronger.